


Big Girls are Best

by 6gun_Sally



Series: Temeraire Shorts [1]
Category: Temeraire - Naomi Novik
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Humor, Fluff and Humor, Gen, One Shot, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-28
Updated: 2012-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24954049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6gun_Sally/pseuds/6gun_Sally
Summary: Granby runs into St. Germain, Tharkay finds a way to use this to his advantage.
Series: Temeraire Shorts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1806052





	Big Girls are Best

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Temeraire and all characters were Created by Naomi Novik. I'm just a fan, imitating.
> 
> This story is set in Chapter 9 of Victory of Eagles; SPOILERS

> Some of the dragons were still arriving, who had guarded the rear of the retreat, and others already deep into their dinners, the lean bodies of deer stretched limply upon the ground. Iskierka was doing the hunting, to the satisfaction of all except the smaller creatures of the forest, who fled out into the open with the panicked deer when she belched a roaring tongue of flame over the timber: mice and sparrows, and a few poachers from the village fleeing with their snares.
> 
> "We will head onwards to Scotland, to Loch Laggan," Jane was saying, "and wait there for the army to regroup. It will be a precious slow trip for them, but Wellington will pick up twenty thousand men at Weedon Bec guns, and another twenty in Manchester."
> 
> "But can we keep the beasts fed along the way, and while we wait?" another woman's voice asked from above, as another Longwing settled. "Mort, be a love and set me down."

The above excerpt was taken from Chapter 9 of Victory of Eagles (page 130 in the eBook version) written by Naomi Novik and copyright (c) 2008 by Temeraire LLC. Published in the US by Del Rey Books, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group. This excerpt was used without permission for the purposes of creating derivative fan fiction and not for profit.

Laurence stared at her, eyes agape as Mortiferus set her down, no doubt running an internal dialogue in regards to her size, and after Jane responded to her inquiry, Captain St. Germain joined Granby by the fire.

"Hullo, love," she said and winked at him jovially, "You make a fine figure in all that flash and bauble."

Granby was staring back at her in near mortal fear, she was nearly as tall as he and twice his weight at the very least, and he took a moment to answer her, "Er, hello. Captain St. Germain," he paused thoughtfully, "How was your flight over?"

"Long enough, my bum—"

"Oh look!" Granby interjected, "there are more dragons landing."

"Yes of course, everyone is landing here what were involved in—"

"I have to go," Granby said as he turned away, "I must make sure they are properly settled… Nice to see you again!"

Granby sprinted through the camp finding his way to the newly arrived group of feral dragons. Dunne was the first he saw sliding off of Molnar's back in exhaustion. Granby grabbed his arm just as he was righting himself from the drop.

"Hello Dunne! Had a pleasant flight over?" Granby said, still panting from his dash across the field. Granby looked around for St. Germain while Dunne started in on a long string of complaints about being roused rudely from sleep and harried in their flight over by the French as they retreated.

"And we didn't even really see any action," Dunne said. Granby looked at him blankly.

"Do you see her?" he asked.

"What who?" Dunne said but ducked away as St. Germain approached.

"John Granby," she was shouting, "Don't think you can sneak away so easily!"

Granby looked around in a panic and ran further in among the feral dragons and crashed into Tharkay, who was explaining something to them in Durzagh, and knocked him to the ground. Tharkay jumped straight to his feet and grabbed Granby roughly by the collar. His dark eyes flashed angrily in the firelight.

"Tharkay, I'm sorry, I—" Granby sputtered.

"John, I just want to talk," St. Germain said.

Tharkay looked from her to Granby with one eyebrow raised inquisitively. Granby stood up, straightened his coat and leaned in toward Tharkay.

"Help me," he hissed and then straightened up and smiled as St. Germain drew closer to them.

"John—"

"Mary, dear, I want you to meet my friend Tharkay, he's from China," Tharkay made a face at Granby but offered his hand politely after the introduction.

"Huh-lo Tharkay," St. Germain said, speaking slowly, "I am Mary. I fly dragons."

Tharkay nodded but didn't speak; Granby forced a grin. St. Germain looked at the both of them in confusion.

"We er, we were in China for a long time," Granby said and Tharkay looked at him then nodded in agreement. "And it was all so long ago, you see I've changed—so much…"

Tharkay smiled slightly, "He is married my sister. Has many babies." Tharkay said, imitating Gong Su's accent. Sweat broke out on Granby's forehead.

Captain St. Germain put her fists on her generous hips. She flipped her hair back as wisps of it had fallen out of her braid and leaned in toward Granby. Her delicate features pulled into a menacing grimace.

"I find that hard to believe, John. If it's true you've got a lot of explaining to do—"

"Ingrish man leave my sister. Emperor kill her and all the babies," Tharkay gave Granby a shove toward her, "I no like him."

Granby watched Tharkay walk away with a look of utter horror on his face. St. Germain grabbed Granby by the collar and led him away toward a dark corner, away from the curious ears of the other Captains and their dragons.

"John, what is the matter with you?" She said, "That poor woman…"

"Oh that didn't really happen. Tharkay lies a lot…"

"You put him up to it?"

"Well no, I—"

"John, what's going on? Ever since you took up with that traitorous Laur—"

"Don't blame him," Granby said, "He has nothing to do with it. I just… I mean I…"

"You haven't written to me since Toulon, I was worried about you. I don't understand why you would—"

"Mary, I'm really busy right now, I don't have time—"

"John, what are you saying?" Her voice deepened threateningly as she spoke and Granby swallowed hard and choked down a whimper.

"—right now. I promise we can talk later when things calm down."

"Oh John-john! I knew your heart was true!" St. Germain grabbed Granby up into a powerful embrace, lifting him bodily up off of the ground.

She dropped him where they were standing and turned to walk away. Granby was still trying to catch his breath as he stared after her, noting how impossibly dainty her feet were in her boots. He waited until she was gone before heading back to the safety of Iskierka's shadow. He sat down on the ground with his back to her tail and put his face in his hands and sat quietly for several minutes trying to come up with a way to end their relationship without being throttled.

Presently Iskierka turned and knocked him into the mud of the field and at his cry she nosed him with her muzzle and lifted him out of the mud.

"Oh dear," she said apologetically, "My poor Granby you are all over in mud. People will think I am like Temeraire and I don't care for my captain!"

"I'm fine Iskierka, please put me down," Granby said.

"Why are you moping about for? Is it because Temeraire wanted to run away from the battle?"

"No," Granby said and he patted at the mud on his coat after she'd set him on his feet, "I am just worried is all."

"About what?"

"Nothing dear, please don't be troubled," Granby said. He walked around her so that he was close to the fire and took a seat near the rest of his crew. Platters of food smelling of the familiar oriental spices of Gong Su's cooking were being passed around. Granby took his share gratefully; glad to have a reason not to speak for a while. After food came the bottle and Granby partook happily in the merriment until finally, the fire started to die down and slowly the other aviators were starting to drop off to sleep.

Granby was nodding where he sat and staring into the fire when a tap on his shoulder brought him to attention. He turned and saw that it was Tharkay and then turned away again.

"You cannot be angry with me when you threw me into it," Tharkay said grimly. He sat down next to him and in the firelight Granby noted that Tharkay's coat still had smudges of smoke and ash from his decoy battle against the Fleur-de-Nuits the night before. Tharkay crossed his arms and sighed wearily.

"What?" Granby said; he was still sore about Tharkay making him out to be such a villain in front of St. Germain and then abandoning him.

"I'm hungry," Tharkay said.

"So why come to me? You should've eaten earlier when the food was passed around."

"I was hoping to find game for the bird," Tharkay said, "but would you believe, there is no small game to be had in this forest."

"I'm sorry, " Granby said curtly.

"Who was she?" Tharkay said and Granby wasn't sure, but he thought he heard a faint note of laughter in Tharkay's voice. Granby glared at him.

"It's none of your concern," Granby said, "Why don't you go to sleep and leave me alone?"

"I slept most of the day, and after they roused us to retreat I slept on Gherni's back," Tharkay said.

"I think Gong Su is cooking something in a pit over there," Granby said, "Why don't you ask for some?"

Tharkay just shrugged, "I'm sure I'll survive the night. Are you courting her? The big one?"

"Oh for the love of—I can never get two words out of you, but now I can't make you shut up!" Granby stood up and tipped what remained of the bottle into his throat.

"She's looking for you," Tharkay said and Granby immediately hid against Iskierka's leg. Tharkay was trembling with suppressed laughter.

"Is she really coming?" Granby hissed.

"She was a few minutes ago," Tharkay said.

"Do you see her?"

"Not yet," Tharkay stood to better converse with him, "Why are you doing this? Surely if you explain that you are not interested—"

"It's not that simple," Granby said, "She's mad! Mad and gigantic!"

"You're scared of a woman," Tharkay taunted and Granby swatted at him from his hiding place.

"Stop it! You'll give away my hiding place," Granby said desperate now.

"You know," Tharkay said while he examined his fingernails, "I could distract her for you, if you wanted. Until morning comes and we must away…"

"Tharkay, please!" Granby said, "I'll pay you."

"A hundred pounds," Tharkay said meeting Granby's eye directly.

"You greedy little shite," Granby said, "I'll give you fifty—in gold."

"Good, but you also have to promise me that you'll tell me the story," Tharkay said with a capricious grin.

"Oh good God, Tharkay…"

"Oh, here she comes! Promise me," Tharkay raised an eyebrow and Granby stared at him in a panic, "Promise?"

"Yes, yes, I promise," Granby hissed and slid further back behind Iskierka's leg.

"Oh, Thar-kay," St. Germain said, "Have you seen Captain Granby?" She annunciated deliberately so that he would understand. Tharkay just glared up at her for a moment and then he smiled.

"I'm not really Chinese," he said, "Granby lies a lot."

"I thought your accent sounded a bit contrived," St. Germain said and cocked her head thoughtfully, "Have you seen him?"

"No," Tharkay said. He hesitated a moment before adding, "You know, Captain St. Germain is it?"

"Yes?"

"I don't think Granby likes you," Tharkay said.

"Why, Tharkay, why would you say such a thing?" St. Germain said and Granby grew tense in his hiding place.

"He's been avoiding you, hiding even," Tharkay said innocently and Granby's face grew red where he sat and he fumed silently behind Iskierka's leg. "You know," Tharkay continued, "Not every man appreciates a woman of your stature."

"Is that so?" St. Germain's voice raised in pitch as the giantess suddenly became coy.

"Such beauty, such perfection," Tharkay said and Granby had to cover his mouth to stop himself from laughing out loud, "can only be designed by the gods. You are so classically formed, like a Venus or an Aphrodite."

"Oh my," she whimpered and Granby fell to the ground still clutching his hands over his mouth.

"Our time here is so short," Tharkay said, "Surely you mustn't waste it looking for Mr. Granby."

"You are absolutely right, Tharkay," St. Germain said, her voice was almost tinkling now like little bells while Granby was dying with laughter he couldn't release. "Would you be so kind as to escort me to my dragon?"

"I would be honored, madam," Tharkay said with a bow. Granby sat up and peered around Iskierka's leg and watched them walk away, Tharkay's figure dwarfed by St. Germain's, and disappear around another campfire. He suddenly fell into a fit of hysterical laughter, relieved and amused and happy all at once.

"Do you think he believed it?" St. Germain asked, passing a basket of bread to Tharkay.

Tharkay made an affirmative noise as he swallowed, "Easiest fifty pounds I ever made."


End file.
